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Wednesday, April 16th, 2003

Subject:The story of My Life.. written by Wassabe...
Time:11:50 pm.
Mood: anxious.
*The Tale of Some Sea Creatures*

Once upon a time in a far away land names Howhell, a little Oyster named Lin-Z was born. She was a happy little Oyster. One day while she was burrowing in the sand with her wassabe a jelly fish named Green, a clam came by. Now this clam was no ordinary clam. His name was Cyle, and he was very nice. Lin-Z fell in love with Cyle when Green had her tentacles in the sand.
Suddently Green realized that she wasn't an Oyster and swan out to sea to be a Marine Biologist.. or a "Man-Of-War" jelly fish, whichever came first.
Meanwhile.. Lin-Z was busy growing up and being with Cyle. Unitl one day, Cyle took Lin-Z's PEARL!.. Lin-Z would never have another pearl, and she wondered if she was going to let Cyle keep it. "He is quite the hott Clam", she thought to hrself, adn sent a telegram to Green to tell her the news.
And everyone lived happily ever after because the author's writst hurts...
!That is what you call a productive day of work at Eckerd!
for what?

Thursday, March 13th, 2003

Subject:How did I let myself come to this
Time:11:06 pm.
Mood: blah.
..I feel fat, I need to workout,I do the FIRM, but i dont see much results.. i mean i kinda do.. bc there is muscle there, but i feel that there is too much softness over it..(if you are picturing what i just wrote.. u probably have the same disgusting look on your face as i do now).. i am imaginig cottage cheese like stuff..but believe me.. i dont look anyhing like cottage cheese.. I am 115.. my goal is to get to 105.. From this day on.. I will no longer eat shitty foods, i will be workout maniac, and by the time the summer come.. i may have the confedince i have been hoping for.. I just wish i have billions of dollars, to get liposuction.. then i could get down to the weight i want and have the self esteem, n keep it off and look good...
tomorrow is the big wedding.. kyles last cousin to get married.. thankgod.. i've been to all of them.. and there are still younger ones that have to get married.. well im not sure if i will be part of the family when they are older, but who knows how fate work..right?.... i want to look super hot, and i wish i was super tan too.. im only partially clear now.... damn being a white american.. my mom couldnt be 100% italian, and only 25.. i could possibly be an all around blond hair, german tan girl..~~~~~
on that note..... bye!

ooo.. to my "bestest friend".. im sure u dont think u are that anymore, but i want you to be,, and if you dont want to be then i understand. i did not bail on you this week... our schedules just didnt mesh. im sorry..and i would like to know when the party is at school.. bc i will come and hangout with u....
1 for what - for what?

Friday, December 27th, 2002

Subject:It's been quite a while........
Time:10:17 pm.
.. Well.. it sure has been a long ass time.. i havent had time to write in my journal..I usually just read what others write.. Anywho.. I've had quiet an adventfull couple of months.. A lot of confusion, excitement, saddness.. and confusion..(did i say confusion twice?).. well thats bc i mean it....
It's xmas break.. and im bored/.. haha.. but thats alright.. i needed tonight to chill home and relax.. i am workin six days in a row. every damn morning.. till december 1st..<< there is no way i am workin on newyears day.. i would not be able to enjoy myself new years eve.... then january 2-7.. I will be in CANADA.. skiing by day.. drinking n bar hopping by night.. I can not wait.. I need a vacation.. not from my friends or anything, b they re the ones im goin with .. but from my family, and work.. and the boringness that nj has to bring to me..

--- im hoping that when i get home.. on the 12th or so.. there will be some adventfullness going on in a house somewhere in jackon..hmm WASSABE!..haha.. I also hope that jamie,nicole, and i can have our dinner date. that we so need to have..
... I also would like to hangout with others, like where is the bestest summer friend.. he better be around during the 12th or so.. bc i think we have a rematch....
I cant wait till sunday night.. my (pretend cousins).. I've known them all since i was born, are comming to my house and were having a celebration.. its been so long since we have all been together.. i am very excited...
````i also need to go shopping at the mall before i leave... I like clothes and need to get fun ones/.. so jamie if you read this.. we are goin 'shopping'-together...
.. Well i am off to relax.. bc i have work in the morning 9-4.. I hope it's not as ghetto as usual...
tata for now...
for what?

Friday, September 13th, 2002

Subject:It's been a long time
Time:2:21 pm.
Mood: crazy.
... Well, it sure has been a long time since i wrote i live journal.. probably bc nothing exciting ever happens that needs to be written about...
.... Today so far was an active day for me.. NO school and NO work.. so i ran (not sure how many miles).. did a bazillion crunches.. all different ways.. and lifted with my weights.. am i an animal or what?.. o yea..
...The boys move in in aproximetly 2 days to 12th ave..
o boy to that..
I found out more people i know that are living in belmar.. this kid that lives down the street from me and all his friends ( i graduated with them all) are moving on 14th ave.. and Frank from work is living on 14th.. its crazy i tell you...
..I feel left out of this college thing, jamies right.. it sucks a whole lot.. and now with kyle being out on his own n not with his parents. all the shit is goin to hit the roof..
...... i have something funny to write.. the other day i was at the bank.. the mac machine to be exact.. and some black thug guy asked for my number-- i told him i have a boyfriend and he said "well you cant have friends?".. then he proceeded to give me his number and shake my hand..hmm
so i went home and asked my sister if she knew him.. o yea she did.. He just got out of JAIL.. yea-- like i want to be his friend.. hmm no!.
.. I'm officially back at good ol' Brookdale.. my classes so far dont suck, but its only been the first week.. kill me now!.. there is nothing to do between them.. ahhhhhhh
.... Im going to go and find something to amuse me for a little.. or until i find someone to play with me..
1 for what - for what?

Sunday, July 28th, 2002

Subject:I hate this feeling
Time:1:31 pm.
... I hate feeling like this

..Not knowing who hes talking to, what hes doing.

..only knowing that there is alcohol, 8 boys, and probably

.. some random girls on the street that they invited to in..

..He told me, that he wants to be together more then ever

..this week is a test, i guess...

.. i gave him a warning..Him+fucking up=losing me

..i guess thats a fair enough warning.. balls in his court

..besides that i have to fuckin work 3-10 at the hellhole in

..jackson.,I need visitors.. please someone...

..WASSABE.. visit me... i wanna chill dawg..

maybe beach tuesday.. everyone is welcome

.. Im going to tradewinds thursday night..

.. Girls 18 and older, you like dancing, come join.

.. time to sit and collect my thoughts before work..
for what?

Sunday, July 14th, 2002

Subject:My Tongue Hurts
Time:8:49 pm.
Mood: irritated.
WOW.. i havent written in live journal since like may..or something.. damn.. talk about long ass time.. a lot has happen since then.. hmm where to start.. geesh i dunno...to sum it up.. school ended.. everyone came home from school.. boy and me broke up.. boy realized i am the bomb diggity..(ha).. and i am the one he really wants.. wants to get back together... i told him, now im in charge,, i will learn to be a bitch and not get walked all over.. when he pisses me off he will definetly know about it.. he agreed, to change and be a better man.. and he agreed to me being meaner.. its goin to be hard bc i dont know how to really be a bitch.. i only pretend sometimes.. so now were together, and happy.. so far so good.. he hasnt done ne thing bad..(knock on wood) but hey, what can u do about love.. its crazy...

on friday night, i finaly got up enough balls to get my tongue pierced.. its annoying as hell.. i cant fuckin say "S"'s.. and i sound like a retard.. my tongue is swollen, it hurts..but soon it will be otay....shh my parents, dont know yet.......
for what?

Wednesday, May 1st, 2002

Time:4:50 pm.
Mood: silly.





LinZlu4@aol.com... or REPLY TO THIS ENTRY...



for what?

Wednesday, April 24th, 2002

Time:4:51 pm.
Mood: rushed.




.......its alright green.. i forgive you.....
for what?

Wednesday, April 10th, 2002

Time:9:49 am.
Mood: sad.
I feel like a shadow only seen when its light
you only know im there when its the right time for you.
I dont understand, how its so difficult to make a simple phone call,to express emotions, more then just those 3 words. I believe you mean them, but actions speak louder then words. IF you only knew how much just 1 phone call a day really means.
You've gain my trust back (partially), are you trying to test it?
Do you enjoy seeing those drops called tears running down my face?..
At times its like you dont even care, every argument ends up my fault with me apologizing and explaning how i was wrong, and was overreacting.
Why do you do this to me? It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt(usually me). You promised not to hurt me anymore, you've promised many other things, but i should have known you break promises.
I have all this pent u anger, I have moved on and are trying to enjoy the present and look forward to the future.
but i cant help thinking back, back to the days where i would lie in my bed starying at my phone waiting and hoping to hear your voice, but i never seem to,those nights where you out with your "new gilr?"
all those nights i cried myself to sleep.
the worst 3 months of my entire life.
Now everyday that im not with you i wonder where you are, who your with, and what your doing.You are good at hiding secrets, the ones that could change a persons life forever.
I dont want to cry anymore, I dont want to look like the bad guy over reactiong but can you really blame me?(put yourself in my position)
All i ask of you is to be honest, never break my heart again, never break promises, and help me feel secure in this "world" that i live in. I honestly do love you, but please dont hurt me anymore.
for what?

Wednesday, March 27th, 2002

Subject:Green, can you make a copy of the puddle of mudd cd for me?
Time:1:48 pm.
Mood: amused.
I am sitting in the library at school bored out of my mind.. i drove to school today with marino.(he drove).. asumming that my class is on and i will get out early.. well i get to class and theres a sign on the door stating that the class is cancelled.. all of a sudden i get filled with joy, but then filled with anger.. i drove with marino, he has class, so now i have to sit till 4 and wait for him.. foshizzle!
I decided to come to the library and start researching on the drug ecstasy for my psych paper...i figured they would give u reasons not to do the drug, and state over and over how its so bad for you. well look what i found.....

*Suggestions for first time users*

Find a situation where you feel good. If you enjoy large parties and clubs, a rave could be ideal especially if you are with friends. Taking Ecstasy with a lover can be wonderful, but avoid being with people you are not sure of, especially someone you are emotionally attached to but have doubts about unless you are prepared to use situation explore your relationship. The ideal home setting for taking Ecstasy is a spacious room where you feel secure and can let yourself go without arousing the neighbours.

Alternatively it can be nice to take E outdoors in warm weather and pleasant familiar surroundings. It's important to feel free to express yourself without inhibition or interruption, so choose a place where you will not be seen or overheard.

Looking after yourself
If you have any doubts at all, take a very small dose and wait an hour (the time it takes to come on) before deciding whether to take more. Half a dose is quite enough for many first time users, especially women and small people. Drink plenty of water or fruit juice (except black currant(141)) but avoid alcohol and other drugs, and if you are dancing, realise that you may be dangerously overheated even without feeling uncomfortable. Look after friends and get them to look after you.
I dont know about you, but i dont know if people/teens/drug user people/whoever you call them/ should be able to read that shit/..i find it quit amussing...
The littlest things amuse me, i get a kick out of everything. hmm..
i hate being at school, i wish spring break was much longer.. I decided that me and a group of friends, whoever u all are.. need to take a trip somewhere this summer.. for a couple of days.. the beach.. maybe even wildwood.. all i want is to have fun.. the ski trip was sick... even though i only skied one day, i still had a blast the rest of the time just vegging out and playing games and watching movies..
It'll be crazy..
my psych teacher today told me some stupid story about him and his wife going to the movies, and how he percieved something totally opposite of what it was about...WHO CARES.. not me!
i left that piece an hour early..wassabe....
ha, i want to do something tonight real bad.. something crazy.. any ideas?.. i wish i didnt live in the armpit of newjersey where there is nothing to do and noone around. times like these i really wish i went away to college..then i could just go back to my dorm room and chill with the people i live with or the people i met and made friends with down the hall or wherever.. after that kean experience, i know that i definelty want to go away..
ok thats enough thougths for me today..
1 for what - for what?

Sunday, March 24th, 2002

Subject:HOLY CRAP.. 4 BOYS..ha!
Time:4:12 pm.
Mood: tired.
All i have to say.. is SICK, CRAZY, HOLY CRAP. ha.. i had so much fun at kean, i loved dancing, it was so much fun.. well except from having to run away from some nasty boys that tina kept throwing toward me, o yea and the the conversation with nick.. couldnt really talk much, but i got my point across.. I am sorry, and i told him i was.. he should of known he was goin to go home regected.. its not my fault..
i had work today, it sucked, but then jamie came in and surprised me it was nice.. i like visitors, o yea kyle came in to.. we didnt do much talking, he bought his stuff and left.. maybe thats cause we havent seen eachother in like 4 days.. hmm.
last night at 4 o' clock i got a damn phone call from some people sitting in their car high as hell, they asked me to take them to wawa.. i told them no, i was trying to get some damn sleep. its not my fault they got fucked up..o well..
I'm out like the fat girl in dodgeball
for what?

Sunday, March 17th, 2002

Subject:Everyday i fight a war against the mirror, can't take the person staring back at me..
Time:7:01 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
Wow!.. i havent written in my journal in like forever.. I've been so busy lately.. doing what-you might ask? I have no idea..
Key West was a blast.. i had so much fun.. It was sunny and in the 80's the whole time.. Now im home for like 4 days and its freakin snowing.. What the shit is that?-- I took a picture with a transvestite it was really funny..He/she is very ugly looking.. YUCK!.. I learned a lot about my family from my aunt, i never knew how crazy we all are.. it's funny!

Went to the fort last night.. good ol' times.. I miss hangingout with everyone.. We all decided that we are going to hangout earlier from now on.. we cant get together at like 10 anymore.. we need to spend more quality time together..
I'm on Spring Break

I am so glad i have this week off.. I dont feel like going to school anymore.. Green and I are going to be visiting some people this week, who are at school.
She needs to have fun.. as do I.. I can only stand howell for so long.. I start to go crazy-

Last night the boys were talking about goin to stockton college this week to visit everyone.. I said i wanted to go.( i've been wanting to go since september and noone would go with me)..JERKS..
Rick replied "well i dont know lou, you have to ask kyle if you can go"..
ME-excuse me?.. ask kyle?.. do u think hes my father or something?.. I am not asking him, he doesnt give me permission to do things.. I am an adult, i am a free and independant women, i can what i want, when i want, whether he likes it or not!
HOW RUDE.. i have never been so pissed before in my life.. i dont understand.. y is it so bad if i go there and kyle goes there too...I have been asked to go many times by some kid who i have no idea what his name is,, all i know is that hes friends with joe and alyson..he keeps beggin me to come there.. (kinda creepy but nice)being wanted is nice.. I think?
I just dont understand.. but believe me.. kyle and i are going to have a BIG conversation about this.. i am so not for those rules.. something is goin to have to change.. whether its the rules or its our relationship..bc i dont sit back seat for noone..i make my own rules and do what i want..

I had work today with green.. i felt like crying.. it was a gloomy day, i tried my best to make it a good day.. a big kiss with red lipstick sorta counts right?..anyways.. i know some ways to cheer my girl up.. just wait u dancin queen..ha!

K im off to argue.. Buh Bye...
for what?

Tuesday, March 5th, 2002

Time:9:11 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
I need new friends.. I mean i love all the ones i have now, but i am so sick of them never taking me serious... it has really started to get to me, i actually cried about it the other night!..I decide something to do, but noone wants to do it.. but they still insist on being annoying and complaining that theres nothing to do.-- When i say i plan to go to someones college to visit them, i ask people to go and they say yea sure, but when that day comes they change their minds.. how shitty is that???....I think the reason behind it is kyle.. god for bid i go somewhere were there is other boys, who just might so happen as take a glance my way..oo big deal!.. like hes so innocent.. ha yea right!.. anyone i talk to knows the truth about that....I just get so upset, and they think im joking about it.. bc everytime they do it, they laugh, and i have to laugh with them.. so they know that it doesnt really hurt! but it does..
a lot--I really need to find people who appreciate me.. Or at least people who can show that they do!..
I havent written in my journal in forever.. i have been so busy lately.. doing shit that is so pointless but it needed to be done.. I cant wait for thursday,KEY WEST its goin to be sick.. no parents, just me my older sister and my crazy aunt who loves to party too.. The beach is goin to be the shit!.. i need this vacation..despretly.. hey..idea!! maybe i can find some friends there who will be nice to me and want to do what i want.. the only problem is that i wont be able to take them home with me.. but its otay.. thats what the great internet is for.. wow! now im really excited!..
well im off.. where u ask?.. take a wild guess.. where do i go all the time..

1 for what - for what?

Sunday, February 24th, 2002

Time:5:20 pm.
Mood: indescribable.
Your averge life span is 89 years old.

By modifying your health,lifestyle, diet, and environment you can live to be: 102 years old.

You were born on Wednesday, August 10,1983.. You have lived 6,773 days and have 25,858 days left to live..

My death clock says i have 2234130953 seconds to live as of right now!.. but it keeps moving down..

I will die on Sunday December 1,2072 at 5:41:01 pm

for what?

Saturday, February 23rd, 2002

Subject:Eatin good in the neighborhood!
Time:3:31 pm.
Mood: bored.
Yesterday was a weird day!.i dont know y, but it was!.. the night was cool though.. me and jamie went to seaside to check out whats goin on there.. there was the bars and stuff but thats about it!.. We were scared, very scared!.. its a good thing that i found the piece of wood, cause no bad guys would hurt us.. once they saw my diesal stick they would be afraid!..haha.. There was a real cool miller lite sign, i wanted it but it was nailed to the door.. jamie had these tools that would of unscrewed the nails but then a po drove by and looked in her car and that was the sign to leave.. we probably would of gotten caught!!.. but i will get that sign, mark my words!.. somehow, someday..
Then we went to grease, calorie,heartattack city. yup thats right WHITE CASTLE,, yummm.. i could feel the grease clogging my arteries.. but who cares it was real good..
I'm bouncin like a bouncy ball..peace
for what?

Wednesday, February 20th, 2002

Time:7:04 pm.
Mood: bored.


You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

for what?

Tuesday, February 19th, 2002

Subject:You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love
Time:5:18 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
today is a good day.. I dont know why.. but it is!
theres something about today, that makes it enjoyable!.. hmm!! went to my reading techniques class today.. it was way funnnn.. i cant wait to be a teacher.. my class is going to be the shit!!.. i am goin to work out today.. I will be super diesel by summertime.. watch out!.haha.. I can't wait.. My aunt is taking me and my sister to the key west in march.. can we say hello, drinking,partying,beach,sun.. REAL tan!.. even though the fake one is fun too...kk I'm done bye!
im out like the fat girl in dodge ball!..
for what?

Monday, February 18th, 2002

Time:12:11 pm.
Mood: bored.
"I am a Rockstar Louis!"
Words to live by....Marino
for what?

Friday, February 15th, 2002

Time:4:10 pm.
Mood: busy.
> A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if

> was dead or alive.
> "Dead." She was informed.
> "How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
> "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
> innocently.
> "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
> "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
> didn't move."
funny huh?!
1 for what - for what?

Saturday, February 9th, 2002

Subject:What the hell does quixotic mean??
Time:8:03 pm.
Mood: quixotic.
Had a good night last night.... went to rowan to chill with my friends.. partied like crazy!!.. which was good because it got my mind off of everything.. but i have to remember it all tomorrow..the drive there was fun as hell.. cause i was so anxious, and couldnt wait to meet people and laugh.. It was Mardi Gras.. there were lots of beads.. I love watching guys get rejected...The drive home wasnt that bad either.. except for the fact that i was still drunk, and was in the car with 4 boys who kept farting.. the car was infested with gas,toxic poison.. i thought i was goin to throw up...Some scarey guy wanted to fight me last night.. we were talkin shit and he kept sayin he wanted to fight someone.. he said something to me and i was like "its a good thing ur not a girl", thats when he started toward me with the eyes of death.. oregon had to stand in front of me to protect me and told me to keep my mouth shut...rick told him i was his sister.. so you dont fuck with a frat brothers sister.. thankgod there were boys there.. cause i had no idea what was goin on..Its marys birthday.. Happy 19th B-day .. yeah.. i had fun last night.. cant wait to go to another one... this time i will be prepared, and ready for a crazy night.. Lots of sleep the night before u leave... O yea and i will eat something that day before i leave.. eating is good, I didnt throw up though.. i never do..haha.. I tried 99 bananas, its a hard liquor.. i took shots of it.. smells good but taste like shit, and leaves a nasty after taste.. does not compare to my miller lite.. I love beer.. they had great beer at the frat.. thats cause they knew i was comming..haha
kk going out now bye!
1 for what - for what?

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